Leadership is not handed to you with a role. It does not automatically come with experience. It starts when you decide to grow, even when you don’t know what the next steps exactly are.
Growth is messy. It is uncertain. Every time you stretch beyond what feels familiar, you change, sometimes in ways that are not noticeable until much later. That choice quietly shapes everything that comes next.
I tried to add up how many leadership coaching conversations I’ve had over the past 20 years. The number landed around 25,000. Yikes, hard to believe! And through all of them, one truth keeps coming up: you grow when you go beyond what you’ve known, beyond what you’ve done. In all those conversations, I’ve seen it in leaders and I have seen it in myself. The choice is to stick with what’s worked or grow beyond where I’ve gotten.
Growth always feels new. Not because we haven’t talked about it before, but because it asks for humility every time. I feel it in the moments when I notice my own reactions and need to admit I am wrong. Every misstep, every time I feel like I have let someone down, teaches me something real about my blind spots, about the people I am trying to lead, and about the systems I help shape. The lessons sometimes sting, yet they are exactly what I need to grow.
Lead Yourself First
Leadership begins with noticing. Noticing how your thoughts shape your reactions. Noticing the energy you carry into a room. Noticing how you impact others. Being aware of your own patterns that make you pause and ask, “Is this really who I want to be?”
Stretching beyond familiar habits is uncomfortable. It is awkward. It does not feel smooth or natural. But every time you do it, you change more than your own mind. You change how people experience you. You speak more clearly. People trust you more. Your presence feels steady instead of scattered. Leadership grows in the moments when you do the hard thing instead of the easy or familiar thing.
Then Lead Others
Leadership is not about doing more for the people around you. It is about helping them do their best work. You are measured not by what you accomplish for them, but by how they can be more effective because of your influence. That means noticing when something slows them down and helping them find a new way forward. It means asking questions that spark fresh thinking instead of giving them your thinking. It means trusting them to figure things out, even when it feels easier to step in yourself.
You are leading well when your team thinks clearly, takes ownership, and solves problems. Your job is not to be responsible and fix everything. You are now responsible to empower others to do more of the work. And the joy of leadership is seeing them accomplish things you could never have done on your own.
Finally, The Organization
Leading an organization is about creating paths people can move on and helping them see why each step matters. A leader’s job is not to do the work for them. It is to set strategic directions with others in mind so everyone can see how their work connects to the bigger picture. When this works, the organization moves forward naturally because the paths are clear and the work aligns.
Leadership growth is not reserved for a select few. Anyone can get better. You can have more influence and help your teams and organizations do more. The question is simple. Where will you choose to grow today? In yourself. In the way you influence others. In the strategies you initiate. Your future as a leader is built on the choices you make right now. Every conversation, every decision, every step matters, even the imperfect ones.
Grow today. Lead tomorrow.